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In our coaching practice we receive a lot of questions about the power of influence and seduction. Well, let me be clear about that, the power of influence and seduction is never to be about to underestimate. From birth on we start to flirt around the world and influence by yelling and screaming when we need food, drink or other things. At that very moment we are not aware how we do it, but we manage to do it. We do know precisely how to tune in to mom and dad to get the things done at the frequency they act the fastest. At a sudden, as a grown up, we start to think all kinds of things with the goal we want to achieve. Troubling the outcome big-time. This article is about the twofold, influencing and seducing from the power within.
The years pass by and we grew up by copying the success stories of our parents, brothers, sisters, nice, nephews, friends and so on. We looked at them and copied the behavior until we found our own mode of operating. For example, we learnt to walk by looking at our parents or older brothers or sisters. It took a little while; first crawling, then trying to stand and with falling and standing up again we learn to walk as our parents do. Job done! Mission successful! The Power of Influence and Seduction.
Going to school and being around the age of seven, the questioning begins. “Am I wearing the right clothes?”, “Do I wear the right shoes?”, “Am I belonging to the right group of friends”, “What if …” and a lot more bunk is going on inside our minds. Building up filters, presupposing we know the answers to the questions we ask are the right ones and the only truth available to us.
Sadly enough is, is that it is the representation of the world; you make yourself, not the world around you. Even more, you are encouraged by your environment such as ads and soap-series. To maintain and keep up with a certain level of “out-side-shine-and-unreal-happiness”. Imagine this: When I look at you, I perceive the world from my perspective. I look at you and at the things behind you. The same is true about you. You look at me, see me and being able to see the things behind me, I cannot see. The point I am making here is, is that your map of the world is not the territory, for yourself and even more for me compared to you. The Power of Influence and Seduction
The opposite is true even more; the territory is the map. And that is exactly where I want to start to make the comparisons. The moment everything you see has started with a thought. Every thought you have can be influenced in such a way it is beneficial for you. Consider this for a moment. Every happening, every event you experience sticks with you and the attention and intention you give to it. Think about it! The Power of Influence and Seduction.
Now how does it come that we have such a struggle with the influence of power and seduction? Let’s start with the first one, power. The Power of Influence and Seduction
In a group of people there is always someone that is the alpha person. Someone the rest of the group accepts as the pact leader. I am using the word ‘pact’ here, as the behavior of a group of people does not differ much compared to a group of animals living in a pact. What does the ‘natural’ leader have as qualities to be accepted by the group as a leader? Let’s assume we want to approach such an alpha-person, what should we do? The first thing we have to do is to create rapport. Rapport will strengthen our bonds with the alpha-person and so will enhance our status in the pact of people we are operating in.
Start by approaching the alpha person by sticking out your hand and saying something irrelevant but important to the alpha-person, such as “Hello, how are you? May I compliment you on …”. You will be creative in the moment itself. Then, you have to give the alpha-person the feeling you are helping him or her with maintaining their status.
So you have to come up with something unverifiable at that very moment to give the alpha-person such a feeling. I suggest you go with the following: “I saw you talking just a few moments ago and mentioned there is something on your teeth …”, which is not true, but unverifiable by the alpha-person at that moment. The immediate response of the alpha-person is to clean the spot on their teeth. Next you continue to help and enforce that feeling to say something like “That is much better now it is gone.” The Power of Influence and Seduction.
Now what happened? You helped the alpha-male continuing looking good in the pact. The alpha-person owes you one, because you prevented this person from a mistake in public. And, more important, the pact saw you talk to the alpha person in a very friendly way, making your worth in the group more valuable. Try and exercise this example in public. People like it when you help them in a favorable way and it enables you to ask them a favor back! The Power of Influence and Seduction.
So, power comes from within and the world around us dictates how we should behave, how should we honestly be ourselves and show the power of influence that is truly deep-down inside? By just truthfully being ourselves in the center of our soul, we access creativity to make victory out of such events. The same is true about seduction. How would you approach that most wanted person, how would you seduce him or her? Let’s zoom in to that on the following example. The Power of Influence and Seduction.
Seduction is asking the right questions and making the right statements at the right time. Let’s take the following example: “Hey man, while you are standing anyway, please grab me a glass of water?” Likely you will go with that and comply to the question and bring a glass of water. The opposite is true when you are being asked: “Hey man, why don’t you get up, go into the kitchen and get me some fucking water like the little bitch you are.”. In this example it is less likely you will comply to the request made. The Power of Influence and Seduction.
Now, let’s say you want to seduce a new partner. Laying down in your bed, chanting “I want this person, I want this person, I want this person” makes you end up wanting that person. Resulting the next time you see this person you will act obedient and the things you want to happen, will not happen. So we need to turn some things around before the true seduction takes place. The Power of Influence and Seduction.
If you practiced NLP before, you are known with the existence of representational systems. Now, the way you seduce your partner, leaving the feeling of choice behind with your future partner, I suggest you start to practice to cycle trough the representational systems from the outside in, gradually. And by the way, we are not up for wishy-washy half results. We want to go for the full Monty and have your new partner sobbing away after you are done, so let’s get started. The Power of Influence and Seduction.
First of all you have to have a decent amount of rapport. When that is established you can make the step to the next process. Next, you start to establish states of your partners feeling as an incredible bond and connection to you. In other words, you start enhancing feelings and anchor them. After that it is time to work on enhancing states that relate to wanting you, attract to you and make that person get aroused by you in their mind. Then you start to amplify those states and start to link them to you.
Last but not least, the rest is up to your imagination. Remember to use those skills properly and only with a fair amount of respect for all the people you work with. As a last bit, always remember to know your clear outcome first. Without knowing what you want, you do not know what you do and so your goal is not there. Plan ahead and remember who fails to plan, plans to fail. The Power of Influence and Seduction
Now, we have discussed a lot about the power of influence and seduction. I always like to see what those topics have in common. For the avid reader, you already have discovered that one of the advices is to plan ahead. Knowing your outcome helps to move your body towards it. No matter if you apply these techniques in sales, love or any other situation where you are in need of the power of influence and seduction. Remember to leave people and companies better than you found them. Every day. The Power of Influence and Seduction.
Remember, to increase your efficiency as a NLP Practitioner, know your positive intention for the message you want to convey, build rapport and pay attention on what and how you use language. Leave people and business in a better place that where you found them, every day! Put yourself to work and start making the NLP Meta Model part of your knowledge. The sooner you start, the sooner you benefit.
Mind Tools provides NLP Practitioner and NLP Master Practitioner Trainings and Certifications. We educate you according to the renowned, latest and highest standards set by the Society of NLP. We will train you thoroughly in all the corners of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and some extras we learned from Richard Bandler directly.
